My wife and I often ride alone together — just the two of us.
Its different than a group because WE decide everything about pace and terrain.
Well, that’s not exactly true, she decides about 97% of everything.
But, that’s okay. Susan rides slower than I do, but not that much slower.
She also worries more about weather and how she feels, but that’s okay too.
Alone together we do shorter rides (30-40 miles) and slower speeds.
She had an insight at some point that changed her attitude about cycling.
No matter how hard she was willing to train or push, she was never going to be as strong as the guys in the group. I understand this. Our group is mostly 55-65 years old, with a smattering of younger and older. For MOST women a man of the same age and bent will be a stronger cyclist.
So, she said, Stop Trying so hard and enjoy the damn ride.
Which leads to riding with spouse. In a group ride, for her, it is usually more work, because someone is often pushing the pace. She enjoys the people and doesn’t mind pushing now and then. However, it can’t always be about pushing.
Riding with me is easy, because I take the attitude, if Susan is riding and enjoying the ride that is what counts.
It also gives me a new perspective…i.e. its not always about setting a pace.